Monday, November 8, 2010

No song. This is to important


Sunday, November 7, 2010

"Watch out now, 'Cause im just too fake for the world. I don't like it but its true."

I hate it how random people do this. You think you were the first. No. Shut.The.Fuck.Up. Try since 3rd grade. Try hating yourself since 3rd grade. Stop it. You think your cool because you do it. But STOP. YOUR NOT. ITS FUCKING ANNOYING. You don't even know how mad. I don't even know why. I used to not care. But knowing random people do it FOR NO REASON that makes me mad. Some people do it to do it. To get attention. To say they have. But really. Thats FAKE. Yes. FAKE.
Fuck off haters.

Friday, November 5, 2010

"And the world will role pass clearly. SUNSHINEEEE"

I have convinced myself that you hate me. I feel like that other girl you hate. But then you love. But you still hate. You pretend to like people so often that I have even noticed. You still talk to me, but I bet you talk ABOUT me to other people. I feel like you don't approve. Or you just use me to look better. You don't even invite me to things. I feel like a follower, a stalker, a hater, a copier. And that list could go on forever. I sit at homes on my friday nights. I want too. I like being alone. I like going to bed early. I like being home alone. I hate being social. I hate being fat. I hate pretending. I love being with you. I love texting him. But thats probably it. I hate looking at other people and thinking how easy they are. They are the 3 things that come so easily to them, but not to others. Skinny. Pretty. And Popular. Not to mention they actually have boobs. They can tell their parents anything. They can go to the hospital. Their parents actually believe them. Their parents don't try to know everything in their life. Their parents actually say goodnight to them, not only their siblings. But their parents actually know what's going on with them.

But, wait. That's all the things I actually want. . .

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Roll it up

Take a bit; lil' bit; roll it up; take a hit; feelin' lit; feelin light; 2am summer night<3

Kid cudi again.


It's kind of sad, how much of a stoner he is. But I still love him. Speaking of Kid Cudi, I was talking to a guy, not saying any names, and we were talking about music and Kid Cudi and he was saying about how much of a stoner he is and he will probably die of drugs, and I said when that day comes, I will cry myself to sleep and kill myself so I can be with him (as in Kid Cudi) and the boy said that he hoped that day wouldn't come<3

I.almost.pee'd.myself. (as Ella would say).

But thats all. No more happy love stories. It probably won't work out, my heart is torn between 3 guys I am too embarressed to even tell my best friend. The 4th one is creeping in... Hopefully 3 will then run out... If I'm lucky. (which I won't.)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Im on the Pursuit

"I’m On The Pursuit Of Happiness And I Know Everything That Shines Ain’t Always Gonna Be Gold I’ll Be Fine Once I Get It; I’ll Be Good"

I will succeed I just need to work for it.
I will live I just need to breath every once in a while
I will get you, I just need to show I like someone for the first time in years...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Hey baby

"Hey, Hey bebe OH AHHH! I wanna knowwwwwww if you be my girl<3"-Avid

I have decided that I will now start all my blogposts with a lyric from a song. some will be good. some will be bad (like this one..)


"Wowza's I just made a mess in my trousers"-Eminem

I cannot believe how fast this all went. I always do this. I meet someone, think I like them, but then realize within a day, wait. I don't even know them.. They don't go to my school, for all I know they could be some sick pervert that everyone hates. Or maybe even a cocky bitch.. Have I been done that road already? YES. I want to believe Hey, maybe this time it will be different. Maybe HE is different, maybe he is more mature.. And think about it, no one could ever know... 

But then I face reality. He could be a whore. He could cheat. He could try and get in my pants. I face the endless possibilities and fight with myself. But maybe he's cute! Or maybe he's an ass. But he could be so nice, it could so nice. Or it could be a disaster. Oh the possibilities.. Maybe by facebook stalking him, he looks cool. But this is the 8th guy I've done this with? It needs to stop. Or it could be wonderland<3

Monday, November 1, 2010


Today may just be the first day my day was made on the bus. I was talking to a guy.. and we were kind of talking about how we would hook up with each other, but there were complications. We then noticed something written on the seat that had a cell phone number and said call if you are a girl.

If you really knew me, you would know I would call that number.

A freshmen answered. Guess who made a new best friend today?